When a person has cancer, they are often overwhelmed emotionally and physically. Not wanting to be a burden, many people find it hard to ask for or accept help, but giving them specific options might make it easier. If your offer of practical help is refused, simply being present and available for them will show how much you care.
A generic offer of help such as, “Let me know if there's anything I can do,” is generally not very helpful and it's unlikely your friend will take you up on it. Instead, offer specific things you can help with, such as childcare, pet care, a ride to an appointment, or preparing a meal.
Create a list of tasks that need doing regularly and organize friends, neighbors, and co-workers to help complete the tasks on a regular basis. Start a signup sheet using SignUPGenius and encourage others to volunteer for specific tasks.
Organize friends and family to take turns preparing and bringing meals. This can include ready-made meals to freeze and reheat later or having take-out delivered from their favorite restaurant. Taking care of the grocery shopping or ordering groceries online to be delivered is also helpful. Keep in mind that your friend may be on a special diet during treatment, or the side-effects of treatment may make food off-putting, so it's best to ask if there are any restrictions.
Helping with everything from cooking, cleaning, yard work, laundry, bill paying, dog walking, and any of the things that the person in cancer treatment would normally do can be helpful in keeping life going for the rest of the family.
They may not show it, but people with cancer often have anxiety about appointments. Even when treatment is over, drive them to checkups and scans. The comfort of your company will give them much-needed support.
Patients memories can be foggy during and after treatment, and the amount of information they receive can be overwhelming. Taking notes during appointments or when the doctor or nurse attends to them will ensure they have the information they need later.
To streamline communication and to keep their support network updated without having to repeat the same information multiple times, consider helping your loved one set up a Caring Bridge account.
Go to doctor’s appointments in the caregiver’s place, help with the kids or pets, organize medications, or send the caregiver off for a massage or a night or weekend away to relax. This can ease the caregiver's stress and give them the energy to keep going.
For many families, the financial strain of cancer is extremely difficult. Setting up a GoFundMe can be a great way to relieve financial stress so they can focus on healing rather than worrying about money.
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