You know that helpless feeling when someone you care about is diagnosed with cancer?
Well, that's how Positivity Cards began—when yet another person in my life was diagnosed with cancer. I'm Lisa, the creator of Positivity Cards, and I live in Madison, Wisconsin. Like many of you who've had a loved one with cancer, I wanted to say just the right thing, to give a thoughtful gift, and above all, I wanted to do something to help. My friend with cancer lived several states away and although there were many great gift options available, none seemed quite right for this particular friend. I decided to make her a series of cards with inspirational quotes on hand-painted designs. Pleased with this idea, I went in search of words that would convey all that I found too difficult to say. Having little luck finding quotes that seemed genuinely helpful, I began to research the emotions of cancer and eventually came up with my own words. This research, combined with my experience as a primary caregiver to a person with terminal cancer, as well as having friends and family with cancer, led me to create Positivity Cards.
The Power of Words and How we Fail People with Cancer
When searching for inspirational quotes, I found many to be disheartening rather than inspiring. The following three quotes, for example, are commonly included on lists of inspiring words for people with cancer:
- "You can be a victim of cancer or a survivor of cancer. It's a mindset."
- "When we long for a life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure."
- "God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers."
When I apply these words to the people I've known with cancer, such as the young mother with breast cancer that invaded 36 lymph nodes, or the middle-aged man with sarcoma that metastasized to his brain, and when I think about their multiple surgeries and many rounds of chemo and radiation, the quotes above are an epic fail. After enduring months or even years of grueling treatments, they don't want to hear about being a strong solider with a winning mindset from a person who doesn't have cancer. Quotes such as these are insensitive and do more harm than good to people who are not asking for "a life without difficulties." What they want is simple, and that is to live.
A Desire to Create Something Truly Meaningful
Seeing list after list of unhelpful quotes reinforced my desire to create something better. I chose to use anthropomorphic characters for their ability to transcend barriers like race, gender and cultural expectations, making them universally relatable to people from all walks of life. With the understanding that every person with cancer is unique and that not all messages will be applicable to all patients, Positivity Cards are designed to provide people with cancer the feeling of being supported and understood. To that end, comments and suggestions for future editions are welcomed.